Gandhigiri Vs Jhadugiri

Sometime serious incidents make us smile.. Seriously telling you.. It actully happened during another Television project I had been working for.. My focus was to get the real stories based on The Invisible Crime.. Means physical and sexual violence.. It's a constant feature in women’s lives around the world..
I was looking for cases such as domestic violence, dowry deaths, torture, molestation, rape, sexual harassment etc.. In our society finding a real story is not a task but a story with a presentable face, extrovert nature, willing to face the camera and share the experience, kind of needs make our job little difficult.. Since the silence around these acts of violence have not generated enough debate and statistical data so my job became a bit tough..
For weeks I had worked rigorously.. I met many victims, their families and sometime the culprit too.. While meeting the battered women and listening their stories, my immediate question was why did she tolerate the beatings so long? Why did she not retaliate of seek help from law?? The stories and experiences were different from person to person but the answer I got from each one of them was same.. “How one can seek the justice within the family??
Anyways I selected two women with almost same experiences, circumstances and sufferings.. The differences were their academic, social and financial background and the remedies they had tried to get over..
Let’s meet Smita first, a commerce degree holder and wife of a class one government employee.. Smita was a victim of domestic violence by her husband.. for past 6 years she been loyal n fully devoted to her husband, in-laws and her two kids.. She left her bank job because it was against the prestige of her in laws.. While recounting the incidents and showing me the bruises and other beating marks of her body, she was crying bitterly.. I was thinking if her husband is a human being then what is the definition of a wild animal?? I consoled her.. made her calm and politely asked her Why does she not take any action or look for help of her in-laws, parents, police or law?? And her reply was “her in-laws says it’s their private matter, and no one would accept her if she will raise her voice against her husband.. Means what?? Her silence is giving a sanction to her husband’s cruel and pitiless behaviour..
Now let’s meet up another victim Sudha, no academic background, lives in a slum, working as a maid.. She is a wife, a mother and was a victim of domestic violence too.. Some 8 years ago Sudha married to a Satish, who earns Rs.3000/- a month.. and spend Rs.2000 in gambling, wine and cigarettes.. For 5 years Sudha has also been abused physically but one fine day she got even.. Sudha made me smile when she said “sasura sharab pee ke, dekhne gaya tha Lage raho Munna Bhai, aur wapis aake mujhe ek thapad maar ke bola, gandhiji ne kaha hai jab koi ek gaal par thapd mare to dusara gaal aage karna chahiye, chal tu bhi apna dusra gaal aage kar, dusara thapad khane keliye, mai chup rahi to wo laat-ghuse pe uttar aaya, phir maine bhi uski Gandhigiri ka jawab apni jhadugiri se diya, KHUB PITA USKO JHADU SE, aisa roya ki agle 3 din tak uske ansu nahi ruke.. wo din aur aaj ka din uski himmat nahi hoti meri taraf aankh uthane ki..”
Amazing woman.. I must say.. I was laughing and thinking about my viewer’s reaction and about the other victims who think their Silence is the only way of surviving in this male dominating society. Please wake up for the sake of our future generation.. The Silence against Invisible Crime is not our legacy.. Please do not hand it over to the next generation..

Hemkunt Sahib : He's actually there..

Hemkunt Sahib a Sikh Gurudwara, located in Chamoli district of Uttar Pradesh, is dedicated to the tenth Guru of Sikh religion, Shree Guru Gobind Singh Ji..

I have visited many religious places but my experience of Hemkunt Sahib is very unique and at the same time strangest too.. It is “UNIQUE” because first time I was allowed to go out alone just with my friends and without any family member.. now why am I calling it strangest?? because I have had no idea about its location, popularity and the religious relevance.. To be very honest that mad group of my friends were just excited with the idea of getting “FREEDOM” from all the dictators of family and school.... It was a ten days trip.. We were dreaming about mountains covered with silver shine snow, the greenery, exotic nature scenes total masti, dhamal blah, blah.. par ye kya the moment we entered in our tourist luxury bus, we got the first shock as to many of our other companions were old people with a particular religious mind set.. Oh GOD save us.. and actually God saved us because in that bus few young, good looking guys were also travelling with us.. later on we all became good friends and they used to visit our homes too.. It's been many years now but really I would like to visit this place again and again..

So let’s come to the main point.. “GURUDWARA HEMKUNT SAHIB”..
It is a unique star shaped Gurudwara.. and is situated on the bank of a holy-sweet-chilled-water lake called “Amrit Sarowar”.. The place is a narrow valley surrounded by seven peaks (Saptashring).. Like other hilly pilgrimages this place is also inaccessible during the winter season.. Even in summers it is visited only during the day time, because lack of enough oxygen at that height all the pilgrims including the Granthis (Priests) have to come back to another Gurdwara Gobind Dham..
Till 20th century, this place was completely out of reach from the people..

The autobiography of Gobind Singhji has clearly mentioned in a verse about Hemkunt Sahib..
Hemkunt Parbat hai jahaan, Sapt sring sobhit hai tahaan
but people did not believe this as there was no sign of such place.. then Pandit Tara Singh Narotam, a nineteenth century Nirmala scholar (an old form of an academic degree) got inspired by his dream and became the first person to trace the geographical location of Hemkunt Parbat (The Mountain)..
Later on Sant Sohan Singh of tehri Garhval actually did a survey of this area and found the place in, and with the financial assistance and encouragement from Bhai Vir Singh, he constructed a 3-metre square shrine..

As I have mentioned earlier that there is a small lake near the Gurudwara, called Amrit Sarovar, is considered as very holy and there is a ritual to take a bath in this lake.. Though the lake remains frozen for almost entire year, but it doesn't stop the devotees to take a dip in the freezing water of this lake.. It was an unforgettable Experience.. and one must visit this place if you actually want to feel the peace, the nature’s beauty and above all “HIS PRESENCE”..

Kashmir : The Mother of Earth..

Sometime ago I met one of my old journalist friend who informed me about Prof Fida Mohammad Hassnein and that he has been finally got a reorganisation for his prestigious contribution to the history of Jammu and Kashmir॥ I only met him once but I felt good for him and If I was happy to hear this news then one can easily imagine his state of mind.. He must be on cloud nine for being awarded with Lifetime Achievement Award by the state government..

He is the only Kashmiri writer (researcher) whose work has been appreciated by the foreign writers and researchers.. He has written more than 35 books based on Jammu and Kashmir’s history, religious places and different other issues, out of which several books have been translated into different foreign languages..
Professor Fida Mohammad had started his career in 1953 as Professor and retired as Director of Archives, Archaeology, Research and Museums in 1980..

I did a story on his huge and impressive collection of Puranas, ancient geographical and other historical books॥ in television interviews we have to be strict with the storyline and duration॥ So my information bank about his work and personal life is not so great and vast.. Many of my memories are fading out since it’s been years now when I met him.. Moreover I am completely out of touch from the NEWS WORLD.. what I still remember is that he made me astonished when he shared a fact about the “emergence of Kashmir out of a sea”.. It is clear that 7500 years ago the valley emerged out of the Noah's Flood.. or as mentioned in the Nilamata Purana (An ancient Kashmiri literature) this happened during Vedrishi Mannu's (creator of famous Hindu Grantha Manusmriti) period..
However, I don’t want to get involved in any debate but the fact is that based on Prof Fida Mohammad’s research a Japanese scholars terms “Kashmir” as “Mother of the Earth”.. I really want to know more about it.. and surely I will try to enhance my knowledge about this..

Global Warming : an "Inconvenient Truth"

We all are facing the critical effects of Global Warming.. Rising temperature, evaporating water reserves, diminishing forests cover, sinking islands and melting ice caps.. well each word represents a scary prospect of unmanageable disaster.. We really don’t have time to even think, stand and stare.. Many efforts are being made by various countries, non profit organizations (NGOs) to slow down the rate of global warming.. but we need rapid individual as well as collective efforts to save this planet, Our very own Mother Earth..
Global warming, has another interesting side of this episode.. there are people who do not take global warming as something that is building up any tension..I would call them sceptic, careless, irresponsible people or group of morons...
Still I am hoping that no one is sceptic here about this waking up call of Nature.. People do talk about the aftermath of Global warming but I would like to share the remedies to be friendly with our environment.. For that we have to reconsider and redesign our lifestyle to survive further on this planet..

We cannot shut down our computers, Mobile phones and other electronic gadgets “Right” but can we try to minimise their usage?? For example a computer that runs 24 hours a day, uses more power than a refrigerator.. I know people who spend hour and hours to down load movies and games from computer.. Please don’t be merciless and watch your favourite movies in cinema halls or buy DVDs.. another solution is use a laptop to save energy.. Laptops are more environmental friendly than a desktop.. It consumes five times less electricity.. Don’t not over charge your laptops, cell phones and digital cameras.. and save electricity, water and environment.. Set your computer on Sleep-mode when not in use it saves energy by 40%..

Then we can replace the glowing bulbs with compact fluorescent lights (CFLs). These use four times less energy and last some eight to ten times longer than the normal lighting equipments.. Can we keep an eye or be little careful while filling up our water tanks and coolers.. also don't over-water your garden.. Plants in our garden or pots need watering once a week or max twice.. do watering early morning for minimal water evaporation.. it is the best way of water conservation..

Let me be very honest I am going to talk about one of my bad habit, I do not turn off tap while brushing my teeth and soaping my hands.. Nothing but just laziness.. henceforth I will change myself and help to save water..

Drive less to save fuel (I know it’s impossible but try) try to walk (if the distance is not longer) use bike, carpool or take public transport once a week..

I cannot stop paper consumption.. So I will not give such kind of advise.. but we can stop using tissue papers.. go for the ancient way and use handkerchiefs instead. Because tissue paper is a major source of paper wastage.. It takes 6,000,000 (Six Lakh) trees per year to produce tissues for whole world.. Then avoid unnecessary paper printing.. recycle the paper as and when possible.. Please, please and please use both side of each paper for writing.. One much simpler and easier way to cut down the use of paper is to go for soft copies instead of hard (printed) copies to get the information and data stored in your computer..

It takes only a second to waste a beautiful sheet of paper but decades for a tree to grow..
Help.. Fight Global Warming..

Ye hai Bombay meri jaan..

It s been more than four years when I shifted to Mumbai.. A city where anything and everything is possible.. There are many similarities between Delhi (the place I born and brought up) and Mumbai (my present address).. Just like Delhi in Mumbai also I found carbon-dioxide more than oxygen, so have had no breathing trouble.. sach mazak nahi.. Like Delhi here also the roads are mostly used as a dustbin and cycle reaches faster than a car, same things happens in Delhi as well..
But still I found Mumbai is special and at the same time strangest place in many ways.. It is a craziest city to live in — a place you want to run away from but then you will always realise that you cannot live anywhere else now..
Lets talk about the strange things I got to know know about this place called Mumbai..
Mumbai’s ancient name was BOMBAY.. and why Bombay?? when it had no bomb and no bay either..
A very famous (and close to my heart) place called Churchgate, but actually it has neither a church nor a gate.. It is a Railway Station meant only for local trains..
I used to live in an area known as Andheri.. but trust me there was no darkness..
The list is huge, lets have a look..
· Bandara is a posh area of Mumbai.. but I have never seen or heard about even a single monkey (Bandar) in that area..
· Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel..
· The famous Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at area known as Mahalaxmi..
· Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, and has no lamp..
· No Iron smiths stay or work at Lohar chawl..
· There are manny Lokhandwala complexes now but not even one Lokhandwala has any Iron and steel market..
· You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar..
· Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.. Like in Delhi Paranthe wali gali is famous for the prantha makers and you can have a variety of delicious paranthas there..
· Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi..
· Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi..

Now some important features of a Mumbaikars life..
· Train timings (9.20, 7.50 etc) are very important events of life..
· People spend more time in travelling than they spend at home..
· Here people call an 8′ x 6′ clustered room a Hall..
· They have different sets of friend like school friends, college friends, office friends and a very unique community called Train Friends..
· Only in Bombay, I eat Chinese Dosa and have seen people ordering for Jain Chicken..

Who controls "Destiny" ??

"Destiny is not a matter of change, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

--William Jennings Bryan

This quote looks so impressive but is it true? Good thoughts, nice feelings to motivate a dead heart or the one who has lost interest in life and also hope to live, to struggle, to achieve something in life.. Otherwise I am little apprehensive and wonder how close is this to the reality of Life??
Destiny, is it really a matter of choice?? Can we choose our destiny??
If this is the Truth then why Priti could not shared the joy of becoming a parent with her husband?? Why Priti’s little daughter Prachiti, who was born soon after her father slipped into coma, has never played in her father's lap.. Has they selected their own destiny??
Well if I recall my meeting with 24 year old Priti Sawant, the answer I get back from myself is a big “NO”, It’s not us who choose our destiny..
Ok, Let me first introduce you to Priti..
Priti Sawant is wife of Parag Sawant, the last victim of Mumbai 7/11 Train blasts, Parag was travelling in the Churchgate-Virar train when the bomb went off on the same date.. Since then he has been in “COMA”.. In a simple language doctors describe it a vegetative state–neither alive nor dead.. or when a patient cannot feel any pain or emotions..
A few months ago I have read in a news paper that Parag has started recognizing his mother and now can also do simple math.. A 28 year old guy, who had been an assistant manager with a city-based construction company, can now tell you the answer of what is 6+2.. Well I was happy to know about Parag’s recovery.. and at the same time I was feeling sad to see how innocent people suffer at the hands of Destiny?? (well here i dont want to talk about the social insects also known as The Terrorists)
My personal meeting with Parag and his family happened around 2 year ago.. As usual I was looking for cases of coma patients..
A compiled information of Parag is, that he had got married just seven months before Mumbai Train Blasts, and at that time Priti was pregnant..
Soon after the good news of Priti’s pregnancy.. Parag was planning to change his unborn child’s destiny when he got a call of his own Destiny.. He fought and survived a long battle between his life and death, now again he is taking the initial lessons of life and simultaneously his daughter too.. Little Prachiti who knows nothing about life, destiny or this tragedy, is also learning some hard lessons of life..
That’s why I have named her Prachiti, means “Experience”.. as Priti said and was trying hard to match her smile with Prachiti..
Priti had no complaints against her or her daughter’s destiny.. rather I feel we are lucky enough that God has given us a chance to fight and win this battle.. Parag is alive and so does a hope of living a normal and happy life is also alive..

“Kismat uss din inhe (Parag) apne sath le zarur gayi thi par sath wapis le bhi aay.. warna kuch bhi ho sakta tha, jis aatanki hadse mei 187 logon ki maut huyi aur 900 ghayal huye wahan 187 ka 188 number banane mei kya der lagti, par kismat hum par meharban thi”..
Again KISMAT means DESTINY comes in the picture.. Most of us believe in the nature of justice.. If someone do something wrong we expect him/her to get punished for it.. So what about Destiny?? Who would punish her and when?? More difficult to understand is why good people suffer by the hands of DESTINY??
So don’t look back in past and don't look too far ahead either.. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time..

Well there's only now, there's only here.. No other path, no other way.. No day but today.. LIVE AND LET LIVE..

Lonely in Crowd..

पल पल बड़ते कदम, कुछ तेज़ तेज़ कुछ मधम मधम
वो चीख वो अंदाज़, क्या मौत इसी को कहते हैं ??

आसमानों में टिमटिमाते दिये जैसे तारे,

जो इस तूफान में कुछ धुंधले हो रहे हैं

ये बरफ सी ठंडी आह, मासूम बियाबान रात,

क्या मौत इसी को कहते हैं ??

याद है ज़िन्दगी भी है और तन्हाईं भी..

सिसकती हिचकियां भी हैं और सहमती रात भी

कभी आगोश में लेती हुयी माँ की पुकार को

और कभी धुंधली होती हुयी बच्चे की पुचकार को

क्या मौत इसी को कहते हैं ??

वक्त में बेपनाह लडाई में, जब शाम का आंचल खिसक कर गिर गया

उस बाप की लाचारी भरी मुस्कान को

जो सोचता था शायद रोके न सही, हँसके मना लूँगा भगवान को

समझ में तुझे न आया "ज़िन्दगी" तू हवा है और तुझे बहना है

तेरी पशो पैनी पे भी ये आंसू रुकते नही

माँ का आँचल भरता नही

बाप की उदासी कम होती नही

बच्चे का दिल अब चिडिया जैसा चहकता नही

क्या मौत इसी को कहते हैं ??

जो अब आके भी मुझे नही आती..

Written by A Loner.. another Zindagi (not me)..

All I want to say is that "Nobody is a Loner on this planet EARTH, somewhere there must be someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that "ZINDAGI" is worthwhile, so whenever you feel you are alone, remember it’s not true, someone somewhere is waiting, to be with you..”

Gulabi - A colour of Success

Gulabi a.k.a Gulabo means pink colour..
Gulabo is daughter of a snake charmer and belongs to the Rajasthan’s Kalbeliya snake tribe..I met Gulabo at Pushkar.. Where she was performing in RTDC’s (Rajasthan Tourism Development Corporation) annual fare.. She is a world famous Kalbelia dancer..
Hi, I am shooting for a Documentary Film “Entertainers of India”.. Hastily I informed her about my visit of Pushkar fare.. Her secretary was in more hurry than me..
“Madam zara jaldi khatam karna”..
I just passed a smile to him because I have not yet began and this fellow is talking about the end..
My first question was very usual “When did you start dancing?”
As soon as I began to walk, I started to dance.. she replied and simultaneously was re-doing her makeup and dresses..
I need to know MORE about your life, childhood, dance training, struggle etc. etc.
.. and she begin with her father.. Who was a snake charmer as well as a street dancer, he used to dance on the “been (a traditional instrument of Indian snake charmer)” music and beg..
I always accompanied my father during his dance performances on the streets, It was not our traditional profession but yes was a source of me and my siblings upbringing.. However for me dancing on streets was not a respectful job which my father was doing.. but dance was my passion.. My society was completely against of my dancing, but somehow my father stood by me..
Sometime at the age of nine, I had participated in a Holi carnival.. And then next
year I performed at the annual Pushkar Festival of Rajasthan, along with other girls of my tribe.. There I got noticed by RTDC Festival committee members, they called me to perform in another event..
After sometime I got a call to perform in Jaipur, but my society was opposed me.. Whereas my father was with me.. He stood by me as an armour.. and announced publically that he would burn me alive if ever I will turn to a wrong path. Reluctantly my community head gave his permission..
And Gulabo’s success story starts.. Thereafter she went on to perform in various places of India as well as abroad.. She has worked with French artists too..
Dancing is not their traditional profession.. Her community is known for catching snakes and taking out the venom.. Besides this, they care for injured and unwell snakes also. An interesting element of this tribe is they use snake venom to make kajal, and because of this, no Kalbelia tribe member use spectacles..
Amazing hai naa??..
As far as her dance is concerned, she choreograph her dances herself.. I am the inventor of my dance form.. For me dance is like worshipping GOD..
I also noticed her 3 year old daughter, were trying to match her baby steps with her mother’s flawless dance.. Is it a making process of another international dancer?? “abhi se kya keh sakte hain” a modest answer of proud mother..
I have seen a miserable childhood.. She recalled her past.. “my mother used to make tents for us using waste material.. Hence, my focus is to educate my five children and give them a blissful life.. and also give them a freedom to choose their life paths..
I could not believe that my camera was talking to an illiterate, tribal woman.. Who has become a role model for her community..
From living a life of a gipsy to a life of an internationally acclaimed kalbelia dancer, certainly Gulabo has come a long way.. She owes her success to God and her father.. She was sounding very positive about the future of this dance form..
Through that documentary she also made an appeal to every Indian citizen that “Please stop gender discrimination, do not abort female foetus”..
Let me transcribe her feelings in a poetic way..
बेटी बनकर माँ बाप की ख्वाइश को अधूरा किया मैंने
सबने मुझे कांच का पुतला समझा, पर ख़ुद को टूटने नहीं दिया मैंने
सफ़ेद कागज़ का टुकडा कहा, पर धुल न जमने दी मैंने
किसीने भी मुझे कुल का चिराग नहीं कहा
फ़िर भी अपने कुल का नाम रोशन किया मैंने..

Does Love need a Reason..??

(This is a forwarded mail; I have received from one of my friends.. publishing it here with a hope that perhaps this could change views of people who take LOVE as a Friday movie or a seasonal fruit)

Once a lady when having a conversation with her lover, asked "Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?"
Man : I cannot tell the reason.. but I really like you..
Lady : You can't even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?
Man : I really don t know the reason, but I can prove that I LOVE YOU..
Lady : Proof?? No! I want you to tell me the reason.. My friend s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man : Ok..ok!!! Emmm... because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving, because you are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movement..
The lady felt very satisfied with the man s answer..
Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and went in comma.
The Guy then placed a letter by her side..
Here is the content : Darling, Because of your sweet voice that I love you...Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you..
Because of your care and concern that I like you..Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you..
Because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love you..
Now can you smile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you..
If love needs a reason, like now, There is no reason for me to love you anymore..
Does love need a reason?
NO! Therefore, I still LOVE YOU...
"True love never dies for, it is lust that fades away.. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away" Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
'Fate Determines Who Comes Into Our Lives, But Heart Determines Who Stays..'

RUB NE BANA DI JODI kaisi kaisi..

It was a typical mumbaiya chawl - ancient 4 storyed structure with a long, common verandah.. I reached bit early by the time I had fixed with Monika..
Monika’s real name (given by her parents) was Manish.. She was 8 when she broke the barriers of the society and walked out of her house.. Manish alias Monika is neither a man nor a woman, she belongs to the Third Gender, in social language we call them EUNUCHS, Hijaras or by an ancient and more respectful name “Kinnars”..
Monika is very pretty. At a first glance no one can even imagine that she is not a normal woman but is a Kinnar..I met her and informed her about the concept of our show.. She was happily ready to share her story..
She was smiling and talking before the moment I shot a question about her gender.. agitatedly she replied “It is not my fault if I am abnormal? Why my feelings are not acceptable in society?”
I smiled because after touching her weakest nerve this reaction was inevitable..
She was the forth one amongst her five siblings, and the only one to face this discrimination set by her destiny.. Her parents tried their best to hide the fact about her gender.. but her siblings and relatives were not so kind with her.. for this reason she ran away from her place and joined a local Eunuch’s group. Even here she had been cheated and harassed by the people of her so called own community..
She used to beg at Mumbai’s suburb area.. She had no dreams and no complaint either.. but one fine day she met Ramesh Rana, a taxi Driver. Ramesh, who was already married and had two kids, fell in love with Monika..
“I was always taught to stay away from the normal people.. So I strictly opposed Ramesh’s love.. and even ignored his suicidal threats” she said with a glint in her eyes..
Ramesh proven his words and had poison.. Luckily he was rushed to the hospital on time and saved by the doctors..
It was then when his first wife "Suman" came to know about his unusual extra-marital affair .. with a Eunuch..
Suman was shocked.. but her love for her kids and her husband’s life put her down on her knees.. She thought she has to loss her husband, either to his death or to Monika.. She managed to get Monika’s contact number and address. Soon after she got in touch with Monika and begged for her husband’s life..
I am not insensitive; and was very much in love with Ramesh.. hence I accepted Suman’s proposal and got married to Ramesh..
Now Ramesh lives with his two wives (Suman and Monika) and two kids in a same house, where I was sitting and chatting with Monika..
Many movies are being made about Eunuchs and extra marital affairs but this is a story which no one could ever believe..
Even after meeting Monika, It is still unbelievable for me to accept the fact that God can write such a unique story..
So my award for the the best story writer goes to “The Almighty”
(Picture courtesy “ India Today)

Let’s break the silence on Child abuse..

· 13 year old girl sexually abused by her first cousin..
· An 8 year old boy sexually abused by a bus conductor..
· A 10 year Old girl molested by a 50-year-old neighbor..
And I found many more cases of children (male/female) who have been sexually molested by their next door uncle, neighbor, cousins or even someone within the family..
Huhhh unbelievable, ridiculous.. are the expressions these cases generally generate when I talk about them.. Nobody (except NGOs) bothers to open mouth or do the needful to save the children and punish the culprit..
Girl or boy about two-thirds of children are physically abused or molested.. However, most of the children never report the matter to anyone..
I tried to get the reason behind this silence or their ignorance.. Please have a look and try to eradicate this social stigma..
Ø Most of the children have a fear that nobody will trust her/him..
Ø Sometime they cannot make a difference between a safe or unsafe touch..
Ø They feel uncomfortable or shy in talking about their sufferings..
Ø A fear of getting scold by parents..
The 13 year old girl child I met was molested by her first cousin on three different occasions. She did not reveal anything to even parents.. She had a fear of criticism at home and also was afraid that her "sense of dressing in western clothes" and being friendly with everyone would be criticised..
and the boy who was sexually abused by his school bus conductor.. the day he informed it to his elder brother from the very next day, his parents started sending him in a car rather than take any action. .
And then I met Poonam (name changed), a lawyer by profession whose daughter was abused by a 50-year-old neighbour living next door, recounted her sentiments,. “It was not even in the wildest of my thoughts that a person as elderly as my father, would harm my child.. Luckily, my daughter alerted me and I was able to help her.. But when it came to going to the police, I could not ignore the fact that raising voice about this incident could make harm to my daughter's present and future, and I found silence and prevention are the best remedies in such cases..
In every case offenders did not get the due punishment.. rather they go scot-free.. to target and make harm to another child..
It’s shameful that such type of incidents are taking place and rising high in our conservative society.. It’s terrifying.. Still nobody is ready to talk about it openly..
Yes no doubt that prevention is the best remedy.. So let’s quickly talk about the tips to prevent the sexual abuse of a child..
** Educate your child about the impending danger of child abuse..
** Allow your children to voice their feelings..
** Be frank with your child, listen him/her with an open mind..
** Believe your child that she/he is not cooking up stories about being sexually abused. Believing the child is a major step in healing the hurt caused by abuse.. After getting the facts please remain calm and do not respond with anger, the child may feel that you are angry with her/him..
May god bless every child with a loving, caring and UNDERSTANDING parents..
Trust your children and make them safe..

Divorce : remedy for parents,disease for kids

I feel terribly sick when I hear about another couple getting ready to experience divorce. What happen to a child when he or she listens that soon their family would be splitting up? Sometime ago I met a 7 year old girl Ruhani (name changed).. She was just 4 year old when her parents decided that they can't live together anymore. She was very young to understand the term called Divorce.. The split of her parents’ left emotional wounds in her mind..
Her teacher, who was a good friend of her mother, told me that Ruhani was a very bubbly, intelligent and disciplined child before the divorce happened.. but now her life has been changed.. she does not make friends.. Always try to be aloof, does not join her classmates for launch..
Is it?? I was keen to talk her.. Silence of her eyes was talking to me.. But taking her in confidence and make her feel comfortable was the toughest job I have ever done..
It took me four to five visits to her school, every time I used to meet her and somehow I managed her to open her heart in front of me..
I didn’t want my parents’ divorce.. Innocently she said.. She was not looking into my eyes and was continuously staring on floor while talking to me.. I like Papa more than mamma.. I miss going with him for long drive, visiting malls, playing in garden and watching cartoon channels together..
She had no idea what made her parents to get divorced..
I tried to know why she does not be friendly with her classmates.. and the answer she gave me, were actually made me speechless.. I feel scared what if someone will ask about my father? What if other children will make fun out of my parents’ divorce?
I also asked her about her wish, desires and dreams.. She said she wants to meet her destiny maker.. Who gave her such selfish parents who only think about their inconvenience, likes and dislikes.. No one thinks about her existence. She does not want to call someone else her papa..
I could not imagine that a 7 year old kid is thinking and talking about destiny and its creator..
She even does not want to score high in the school because her father will not join her in her annual function to see her award ceremony..
She said “I liked it better when my parents were married and everyone lived together.. for me both are eaqual and important..
She had a question in her mind “why did her parents bring her in this world??
She said I will never ever get married.. because marriage makes people selfish..
Divorce could be a remedy for some couples but it’s a disease for their kids for sure.. For kids parents are like their body and soul.. and after meeting with Ruhani I felt like..
जिंदगी क्या इसी को कहते हैं
जिस्म तन्हा है और जान तन्हा
हमसफ़र कोई गर मिले भी कहीं
दोनों चलते रहे तन्हा तन्हा॥ (Meena Kumari)

If you don’t know something “LEARN”

Few years ago I joined a Delhi based television news agency.. had been appointed as a Producer for a weekly show “Khabrein Desh Bhar Se”..
Due to some unavoidable reasons my employer had to put this show on hold..and gave me another show based on Terrorism.. I got this news through my boss and trust me it actually left me in a terror like condition.. because my knowledge about terrorism was not more than any other comman citizen of India.. Had always focused more on the victims and less on the culprits in any terrorist attack. Moreover my forte was entertainment, soft and human interests stories.. I read my new agreement letter and before signing on it very furiously I mumbled “how someone can take such a drastic decision that too without my consent..

Now what to do? I asked myself.. I was between two kind of thoughts “I can do it vs I cannot do it” But the warrior, inside of me was not ready to give up.. Therefore I decided to start with the pre-production work and “phir dekha jayega jo hoga”

The first and biggest speed breaker I had to face was a herd of jealous male (senior) producers.. “ye kul paida huyi ladki kya jane Terrorism kis sher ka naam hai” and many more comments to break my confidence i heard but they made me stronger indeed..

I started reading, walking, living, breathing, and sleeping with the available data, stories about the Terrorism.. Books, internet sites, newspapers were my new friends.. and I was ready to start with the production of MY first episode.. Is there anything missing I looked back and tried to analyse my preparations.. “Oh Yes” my show needs living evidences to prove that in India its Pakistan who is supporting terrorism and providing needful infrastructure to these terrorists.. I need defence experts to talk in front of camera and share their experiences with the viewers..

I met a few senior journalists, my senior colleagues were against and opposing my efforts but my destiny was fully supporting me.. and there I met my saviour.. In our first meeting very sincerely i informed him that I am a new comer.. do not know even the ABC of terrorism.. and also about my nervousness..

"Look madam I don’t think the problem you are sharing with me is actually big or will remain with you forever".. He said very rudely.. but very soon I got to know that this is his style of making me confident.. He further added “Even I was a beginner when I started climbing on this ladder”..

“If you don’t know something then “LEARN” naa.. What is the problem, haan..

Is there any problem, I asked myself.. and my answer was Na Na..

I got all needful help from him.. made many episodes of that show.. and proved myself in front of my senior but insecure male colleagues ..

He taught me that do not pay attention on the howling mob.. stand and fight if you think you are right..

The Incredible beauties of Hindi Cinema..

Did anybody notice that the latest star in the making is the prettiest Sonam Kapoor.. Surprisingly Sonam resembles too much with the gorgeous and beautiful actor Waheeda Rehmaan.. Like Waheeda Ji, Sonam also has most amazing bone structure.. they both have best cheekbones, expressive eyes and a sweet, bright smile.. This maskali dancing on a roof top with a pigeon always reminds me Waheeda Rehmaan’s famous highly emotive and energetic dancing number “Kanton se kheench ke ye anchal” from film Guide.. I feel good to see the innocent and charming smile of these two women.. Let’s find out something more about this vivacious, fascinating girl Sonam Kapoor.. This Gemini woman was born on June 9th, 1985, and is the daughter of famous hindi film actor Anil Kapoor. She is not only a beautiful, sweet, energetic and talented girl but also is a well educated and headstrong woman.. Sonam studied at the Arya Vidya Mandir.. She has been a student of Theatre Arts, Chinese History, Political Science and Economics.. Impressive, isn’t it!!She assisted Sanjay Leela Bhansali on the sets of Black in 2005.. but as we all know that Sanjay has a good sense of recognising and brush up the real talent.. He launched Sonam as an actor in 2007 in Saawariya, where she played the leading lady Sakina, opposite Ranbir Kapoor and Salmaan Khan.. Now this new rising star is creating a major hype with her forthcoming movie Dilli 6.. These are early days for this young actress, whose beauty is giving a tough competition to Aish, Bebo and Katrina.. Somehow I am very confident about this chulbuli ladki and I am sure that she will have ample opportunities to prove herself in the years to come.. I wish her all the very best..

Try to LIVE, not to EXIST

“I have experienced many difficulties in my life, mostly due to my drug addiction, I had and made others as well to suffer a lot.. but losing my daughter and being deported from America was the hardest.. I had started with alcohol at the age of 10.. My addiction to drug started when I was 16 years old and that was the reason why I was deported from the America. I had been arrested for distribution and possession of drugs and had to pay the price for it. I was not an American citizenship holder therefore I could not take help of law, the verdict was final.”
Its testimony of a 45 years old female drug addict SH (Lets not disclose her real name) from the age of 10, SH lived a life have been controlled by drugs.. It’s unbelievable, I know.. But trust me it’s a true story..
Let’s hear more what she narrated to me when I met her in a one BHK, well decorated house at Malad (W) in Mumbai.. She was a very good student in studies as well as in sports.. From a very early age she had a feeling that she is different.. While other girls of her age were playing hide and seek or with their dolls, SH was busy in playing football, volleyball with the boys.. Her parents wanted her to make a doctor… everything was fine, parents were too caring.. but over protecting… I was listening her carefully but at the same time i was thinking does she has an extraordinary story for my TV viewers?? She was completely oblivious with my intension that for me she s just another case study i am doing for another reality show.. but soon she became a very special person to me and i am sure she will become special for you too after listening her pain, PAIN that nobody would want to experience..
I asked her to tell me some particular incident when her parents over protecting behaviour have caused her some problem.. “No, I don’t remember any particular incident” she said politely..
I got shocked when she told me that her sister was also a drug addict, her sister had started because of peer pressure of her friends.. but she got over soon.. but SH was not as lucky as her older sister.. She was completely fascinated by her sisters wild attitude, holding a glass of wine and cigarette in her hands.. I was too young and had no idea what is right or what is wrong.. One fine day she went out with her sister and met her friends.. There she first tried wine and cigarette.. SH said with this first experience I was on cloud nine but at the same time I felt a fear like I ate a hole in me.. a hole, I am trying to fill with drug, hashish, cocaine, heroin for past 35 year. “uss HOLE ko bharne keliye maine har wo kaam kia jo mere parents ko society mei nazar niche karke chalne ke liye majboor kar sakta tha” with tearful eyes and regretful heart she pured these feelings out. “school se bhag kar freinds ke sath mahalakshmi mandir (in town area of Mumbai) jake sadhu baba ke sath CHILAM pina shuru kiya.. At the age of 11 we went to America.. tab tak maine GANJA pina shuru kar diya tha.. I used to do shop lifting for purchasing drugs.. In three years I had shifted to five different schools..At the age of 14 we came back to India.. Then I started taking MANDRAX tablets.. I used to take 50 tables in a day.. (I did'nt ask her but i have read that one tablet is equal to four peg of wine)

At the age of 16 I used to go to DHAKESHWAR Mandir, its behind MAHALAKSHMI Mandir.. there she met a band group and started having sex, drugs and everything that could keep her out of the mainstream of life..she was totally oblivious about the consequences and the withdrawal symptoms.. she went to Indonesia with her parents, where they had put her under a rehabilitation programme, she had her first bout of withdrawal symptoms of heroin.. SH was narrating her story as she s reading it out from some note book, she said-mujhe apne parents ki presence aur ye sari koshishe irritate karti thi.. heroin nahi milata to alchohol se kaam chalati thi mai… At the age of 19, she came back to India… and met one german man, started fixing through injection… Muje rehabilitation centre le jaate mai wahan se bhag jaati… kai baar ghar se bahar nikal diya… do baar road se utha ke rehabilitation center le gaye… but I wasn’t ready to give up… I was in love with that German guy.. Had also dreamt a normal life with him as a house wife.. We both were eager to leave this habit but before leaving it i requested him to have it one last time.. but he got over dosed and he passed away.. I was completely shattered.. I went berserk.. because he was not willing to have it but I forced him.. Parents took me back to states and kept me in a rehablitaiotn center..There I met my first legal husband JOE.. he was also a drug addict… We fell in love and got married.. I started working as an editor, medical transcription.. I gave birth to my first child, a daughter.. After some time I met a group of drug addicts they gave me some pills and I went back to square one.. My husband was completely out of it and tried to stop me but I was so adamant and was not ready to listen him.. I left his house and my daughter when she was just 3 and half year old.. After seven year we got divorced … Then another live in relationship happened.. I met him in a methadone clinic.. I became a drug peddler.. caught up many time and had to go jail as a result.. this was the time when i gave birth to my son (now studying in a hostel of PANCHGANI in India).. Finally US government made a full charge sheet against me made a hole on my passport and sent me back to India.. I came to Mumbai lived with my aunt.. Again started and this time with brown sugar.. There are many incidents when I made my parent embarrassed but the one which i can not forget is the visit to my son s school. I went there on a sports day.. he was getting his prize and as usual I was intoxicated.. my son came to me with his friend and asked me MOM did u see it.. but when he and his friend saw my condition he felt embarrassed.. He came back and cried a lot..That time I felt what is the use of my life?? it’s not me who s living this curse of life but my son is also terribly suffering with it.. why and how much pain i am giving to my family and taking away their prestige, social respect and happiness.. I tried to commit suicide but couldn’t die.. I got paralytic attack and my right leg lost sensation.. I am also an HIV positive, a TB patient.. The only words that I could use to describe my life were fearful, desperate, aimless and hopeless.. She said everything in a breathless moment.. probably she was trying to hold back her tears.. after a short pause she broke down in front of me.. mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha usse kaise sambhalu.. but then a telephone call of her son made her happy again..

And after keeping the phone down she said sorry and again started with her story.. But my son gave me a hope, strength and aim to restart my life.. A life, now have become full of many holes.. but i tried to make my son happy, to see a smile on his face, to return him what he has lost due to my drug addiction..
Four year back I went to a rehabilitation centre and now for past three months I am completely away.. I am practicing bhuddisam now..
SH is like a phoenix bird who takes birth out of its own ashes.. Yes “ASHES” while describing her present state of mind SH said “I would rather be ashes than dust!” after sharing my personal experience I am feeling, perhaps my life will make another person to think many times before taking the first step to drugs.. or give inspiration to another drug addict to win over this devil.. its difficult but not impossible.. as The Enlightened Budhha said “Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! SHINE”

Holy Cow lives in Hell

The cow is sacred in India, but today, as we walk in streets of India, in every passage or street we will find a cow searching in the garbage for food. Many cow dies with tons of plastic bags in their stomach. The 'holy cow' is now facing a worse fate in our country. No cow lives out her normal life cycle. She is milked, made sick and then either killed or left in search of a deadly end..
Few days ago I saw an injured cow outside a house with a piece of cloth on her face. My unprompted thought was she is dead, suddenly she moved a bit and I realised she is badly injured and must have broke some bone of her body.. and now waiting to die. I asked a few people to help her.. but most of them were mentally injured because no one was paying attention.. In the crowd of insensitive people someone was kind enough and informed me about the owner of that cow..
I knocked the door of her owner s house and informed him about his cow s condition.. Shockingly that fellow was not oblivious about his cow s condition.. “mujhe pata hai ke wo marr rahi hai” very carelessly he said.. I felt like to give him a tight slap.. For years he must have used her as milk machine.. He must have repeatedly raped her by artificial insemination and now when she need some extra care, this fellow is not only ignoring her but also wanting her to die.. He shut the door after muttering a few words “she doesn't eat or drink and there is no treatment”.
I think it is a common fate of all the domestic animals.. People keep and use them for different purposes and they left to die in pain without any food, water, and treatment. I don’t know if there s any NGO who educates these people about the proper treatment for such cases.
I have also heard that in villages people use Coal tar, GUM prepared by animal skin for their animal s treatment. I have no idea if they are effective or do they cause more harm to their animals.. But I think these remedies are worse than the disease itself.
Even worse happens to her male child. The male calves are tied up and starved to death within 24 hours after his birth.. or sent to the slaughter houses. In Mumbai only every year more than 50,000 calves are forcibly killed. Once the cow stops giving milk, they are sold to illegal traders and they end up as someone's bag or shoes.
It’s the duty of our politicians to see that the cows, bulls are protected.. But it is not possible because politicians are making us unprotected by their presence then who s the caretaker of our so called Holy Cows or Gau Mata?
This painful life and death of a cow is the price of being a holy animal and the milk, butter and cheese, she gives us for years..

How many times did you laugh today?

Recedntly I have come to know that in the entire animal realm, it’s only WE, the humans are capable of laughter. Isn’t it a surprise??? Otherwise humans and animal have everything common. Animals can cry, they do have emotions, in their hour of need they also know the meaning of self defense. So what exactly made us different and special is “LAUGHTER” hahaha. Laughter is artless, I mean we can’t make it beautiful of ugly it’s a spontaneous reaction of a human body to something funny or pleasant. Laughter is infectious and at the same time is the best medicine as well. That reminds me sometime ago when early in the morning I have been to Juhu beach… I have experienced an entire different world out there. I met many groups; they have formed their laughter clubs and are promoting laughter as a "Therapy". They start their day with a laud laughter, no matter if its fake but they do meet every morning, and laugh together to start off a healthy day. What an intelligent idea to start a nice, energetic DAY. There I met a 77 year young lady (yes encase she more energetic, cheerful and eager to live the life than me) hahaha… though the fact is that she had a very rugged life. Her positive, vibrant aura forced me to go and talk to her. I was inquisitive to talk and know something about her. I did what I wanted to do. I spent sometime with her and got the reason of my inquisitiveness to know her. Beta ji kya janana chahte ho aap mere bare mei? I said I want to know the secret of your energy and aspiration to live and serve people even at the age of 77. She started narrating her SECRET… now hear her caredully... I got very sick. One after other, I caught up with several diseases, was totally bed ridden. My family prayed that my soul departed so that I could have ended from the sufferings.
I asked her then how the miracle happened?
She said this miracle happened with a free treatment and medicine called Laughter and a desire to live a healthy life. She said this laughter club gave me this new healthy and young life. and again she started laughing. She was laughing without any reason but soon I also joined her and I was laughing until tears rolled out. Trust me it’s a power booster dose, a real fun and healthy too!! I know two more people they don’t fall sick, they don’t cry either. Rather they make everybody to laugh. You wanna know who they are… arre our very own and lovable eternal funniest characters Santa ji te Banta ji. Hahaha. We all look nice when we laugh. Haan sach. So how many times did you laugh today? Please try if you want to stay young and healthy forever…

A "Guide" for everyone..

GUIDE – one of my all time favorite movie. It’s not simply a movie but a flawless work of film art; I would say this movie is the soul of Indian Cinema, and remarkable masterpiece of ambitions, romance, love, betrayal, sacrifice, downfall as well as redemption. Guide focuses on what happens when a tourist guide takes up with an ex-dancer who has been abandoned by her archaeologist husband. First he guides her at different tourist places and then in her dancing career, as a result she becomes a star. Soon after her stardom, Raju falls into bad habits, drinking and gambling. Eventually, he is arrested for forging Rosy s check and sent to jail. He gets out and starts a new life… wanders alone in remote desert effected village where, he is taken as a holy man. He forced to keep a fast for the villagers who believe that his fast will bring rain. Rain comes but Raju-The Guide dies.
I have seen many more movies of Dev Anand and Waheeda Rehman, but somehow I felt that Guide was the best ever role performed by these two ace actors of Hindi Cinema. S D Burman's heart taking music and Vijay Anand's vision have made this film a landmark for Indian Cinema. This movie has it all – talented actors (Dev Anand, Waheeda Rehman & kishore Sahu), breath-taking music composed by Late Sh. S. D. Burman a top quality direction by late Sh.Vijay Anand. The film is based on the book "The Guide" by R. K. Narayan, India's best known author.
At very first hand Vijay Anand was horrified when he read the script, he was more concerned about the image of country abroad. Hence, he refused twice but Dev Anand his younger brother was so adamant and sure about the success of this movie that in his third attempt he made Vijay agreed.
The only disappointing fact of the movie is that S.D. Burman did not win the Filmfare award for his master piece. Still I can proudly say that Guide is a Hindi movie, made in India. Based on Indian story, and does not owe anything to the west or Hollywood… on a contrary the English version of the movie directed by Ted Danielewski was a big disaster.
This is a thought provoking movie for viewers as well as Indian film fraternity. It’s a textbook for acting,film direction, editing, lyric writing, and music.
'Guide' one of my favorite Hindi classical film and I'll recommend everybody to see it..

Life..

Zindagi-- The Life. It’s really hard to define... or rather it depends on every individual that how he/she would like to define it. Life keep changing its meaning and definition according to need and circumstances. For a kid life s all about how to get Chocolates or to make some reasonable excuse to take leave from school in case home work is not done. For a teenager life is proposing to his girl friend. For a youngster Life is to get a job with handsome salary package and then to get married with a nice, caring and loving girl. For a patient Life is how to get rid of hospital, medicines, doctors and the disease. Well the list is endless…

But, what is my definition of LIFE… Honestly I have no set definition of LIFE... I am and have been a part of many television reality shows therefore get opportunities to see and experience Zindagi at different level through different aspect…

Fortunately it is a profession where i get opportunity to entertain people through my creative sense and experience and at the same time to know and learn more about life. Because it’s better be wiser by the fate of the others than by your own.

And we are making people also to realize that their lives are not all that bad after all. It helps them to see that they are not the only ones with problems and dysfunctional lives and families. I still remember one incident when I met a lady who was suffering with a life threatening disease. She was a viewer of the show I had been working at that time, she must have watched the episode where a kidney patient was the player and he played with his full energy and witty sense, he really played well and won some ten lakh on that show.

During the audition for the next schedule I met her, she came hugged me and said after watching your show I have realized that what a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d have realized it sooner..

धरती, आकाश, चाँद, सूरज और जिंदगी इनका कभी कोई हमसफ़र नही होता.. आवारगी इनकी आदत है.. इनके सफर का कभी, कहीं, कोई अंत नही होता..