Let’s break the silence on Child abuse..

· 13 year old girl sexually abused by her first cousin..
· An 8 year old boy sexually abused by a bus conductor..
· A 10 year Old girl molested by a 50-year-old neighbor..
And I found many more cases of children (male/female) who have been sexually molested by their next door uncle, neighbor, cousins or even someone within the family..
Huhhh unbelievable, ridiculous.. are the expressions these cases generally generate when I talk about them.. Nobody (except NGOs) bothers to open mouth or do the needful to save the children and punish the culprit..
Girl or boy about two-thirds of children are physically abused or molested.. However, most of the children never report the matter to anyone..
I tried to get the reason behind this silence or their ignorance.. Please have a look and try to eradicate this social stigma..
Ø Most of the children have a fear that nobody will trust her/him..
Ø Sometime they cannot make a difference between a safe or unsafe touch..
Ø They feel uncomfortable or shy in talking about their sufferings..
Ø A fear of getting scold by parents..
The 13 year old girl child I met was molested by her first cousin on three different occasions. She did not reveal anything to even parents.. She had a fear of criticism at home and also was afraid that her "sense of dressing in western clothes" and being friendly with everyone would be criticised..
and the boy who was sexually abused by his school bus conductor.. the day he informed it to his elder brother from the very next day, his parents started sending him in a car rather than take any action. .
And then I met Poonam (name changed), a lawyer by profession whose daughter was abused by a 50-year-old neighbour living next door, recounted her sentiments,. “It was not even in the wildest of my thoughts that a person as elderly as my father, would harm my child.. Luckily, my daughter alerted me and I was able to help her.. But when it came to going to the police, I could not ignore the fact that raising voice about this incident could make harm to my daughter's present and future, and I found silence and prevention are the best remedies in such cases..
In every case offenders did not get the due punishment.. rather they go scot-free.. to target and make harm to another child..
It’s shameful that such type of incidents are taking place and rising high in our conservative society.. It’s terrifying.. Still nobody is ready to talk about it openly..
Yes no doubt that prevention is the best remedy.. So let’s quickly talk about the tips to prevent the sexual abuse of a child..
** Educate your child about the impending danger of child abuse..
** Allow your children to voice their feelings..
** Be frank with your child, listen him/her with an open mind..
** Believe your child that she/he is not cooking up stories about being sexually abused. Believing the child is a major step in healing the hurt caused by abuse.. After getting the facts please remain calm and do not respond with anger, the child may feel that you are angry with her/him..
May god bless every child with a loving, caring and UNDERSTANDING parents..
Trust your children and make them safe..

Divorce : remedy for parents,disease for kids

I feel terribly sick when I hear about another couple getting ready to experience divorce. What happen to a child when he or she listens that soon their family would be splitting up? Sometime ago I met a 7 year old girl Ruhani (name changed).. She was just 4 year old when her parents decided that they can't live together anymore. She was very young to understand the term called Divorce.. The split of her parents’ left emotional wounds in her mind..
Her teacher, who was a good friend of her mother, told me that Ruhani was a very bubbly, intelligent and disciplined child before the divorce happened.. but now her life has been changed.. she does not make friends.. Always try to be aloof, does not join her classmates for launch..
Is it?? I was keen to talk her.. Silence of her eyes was talking to me.. But taking her in confidence and make her feel comfortable was the toughest job I have ever done..
It took me four to five visits to her school, every time I used to meet her and somehow I managed her to open her heart in front of me..
I didn’t want my parents’ divorce.. Innocently she said.. She was not looking into my eyes and was continuously staring on floor while talking to me.. I like Papa more than mamma.. I miss going with him for long drive, visiting malls, playing in garden and watching cartoon channels together..
She had no idea what made her parents to get divorced..
I tried to know why she does not be friendly with her classmates.. and the answer she gave me, were actually made me speechless.. I feel scared what if someone will ask about my father? What if other children will make fun out of my parents’ divorce?
I also asked her about her wish, desires and dreams.. She said she wants to meet her destiny maker.. Who gave her such selfish parents who only think about their inconvenience, likes and dislikes.. No one thinks about her existence. She does not want to call someone else her papa..
I could not imagine that a 7 year old kid is thinking and talking about destiny and its creator..
She even does not want to score high in the school because her father will not join her in her annual function to see her award ceremony..
She said “I liked it better when my parents were married and everyone lived together.. for me both are eaqual and important..
She had a question in her mind “why did her parents bring her in this world??
She said I will never ever get married.. because marriage makes people selfish..
Divorce could be a remedy for some couples but it’s a disease for their kids for sure.. For kids parents are like their body and soul.. and after meeting with Ruhani I felt like..
जिंदगी क्या इसी को कहते हैं
जिस्म तन्हा है और जान तन्हा
हमसफ़र कोई गर मिले भी कहीं
दोनों चलते रहे तन्हा तन्हा॥ (Meena Kumari)