Showing posts with label Crime. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crime. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Gandhigiri Vs Jhadugiri

Sometime serious incidents make us smile.. Seriously telling you.. It actully happened during another Television project I had been working for.. My focus was to get the real stories based on The Invisible Crime.. Means physical and sexual violence.. It's a constant feature in women’s lives around the world..
I was looking for cases such as domestic violence, dowry deaths, torture, molestation, rape, sexual harassment etc.. In our society finding a real story is not a task but a story with a presentable face, extrovert nature, willing to face the camera and share the experience, kind of needs make our job little difficult.. Since the silence around these acts of violence have not generated enough debate and statistical data so my job became a bit tough..
For weeks I had worked rigorously.. I met many victims, their families and sometime the culprit too.. While meeting the battered women and listening their stories, my immediate question was why did she tolerate the beatings so long? Why did she not retaliate of seek help from law?? The stories and experiences were different from person to person but the answer I got from each one of them was same.. “How one can seek the justice within the family??
Anyways I selected two women with almost same experiences, circumstances and sufferings.. The differences were their academic, social and financial background and the remedies they had tried to get over..
Let’s meet Smita first, a commerce degree holder and wife of a class one government employee.. Smita was a victim of domestic violence by her husband.. for past 6 years she been loyal n fully devoted to her husband, in-laws and her two kids.. She left her bank job because it was against the prestige of her in laws.. While recounting the incidents and showing me the bruises and other beating marks of her body, she was crying bitterly.. I was thinking if her husband is a human being then what is the definition of a wild animal?? I consoled her.. made her calm and politely asked her Why does she not take any action or look for help of her in-laws, parents, police or law?? And her reply was “her in-laws says it’s their private matter, and no one would accept her if she will raise her voice against her husband.. Means what?? Her silence is giving a sanction to her husband’s cruel and pitiless behaviour..
Now let’s meet up another victim Sudha, no academic background, lives in a slum, working as a maid.. She is a wife, a mother and was a victim of domestic violence too.. Some 8 years ago Sudha married to a Satish, who earns Rs.3000/- a month.. and spend Rs.2000 in gambling, wine and cigarettes.. For 5 years Sudha has also been abused physically but one fine day she got even.. Sudha made me smile when she said “sasura sharab pee ke, dekhne gaya tha Lage raho Munna Bhai, aur wapis aake mujhe ek thapad maar ke bola, gandhiji ne kaha hai jab koi ek gaal par thapd mare to dusara gaal aage karna chahiye, chal tu bhi apna dusra gaal aage kar, dusara thapad khane keliye, mai chup rahi to wo laat-ghuse pe uttar aaya, phir maine bhi uski Gandhigiri ka jawab apni jhadugiri se diya, KHUB PITA USKO JHADU SE, aisa roya ki agle 3 din tak uske ansu nahi ruke.. wo din aur aaj ka din uski himmat nahi hoti meri taraf aankh uthane ki..”
Amazing woman.. I must say.. I was laughing and thinking about my viewer’s reaction and about the other victims who think their Silence is the only way of surviving in this male dominating society. Please wake up for the sake of our future generation.. The Silence against Invisible Crime is not our legacy.. Please do not hand it over to the next generation..

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Let’s break the silence on Child abuse..

· 13 year old girl sexually abused by her first cousin..
· An 8 year old boy sexually abused by a bus conductor..
· A 10 year Old girl molested by a 50-year-old neighbor..

And I found many more cases of children (male/female) who have been sexually molested by their next door uncle, neighbor, cousins or even someone within the family..
Huhhh unbelievable, ridiculous.. are the expressions these cases generally generate when I talk about them.. Nobody (except NGOs) bothers to open mouth or do the needful to save the children and punish the culprit..
Girl or boy about two-thirds of children are physically abused or molested.. However, most of the children never report the matter to anyone..
I tried to get the reason behind this silence or their ignorance.. Please have a look and try to eradicate this social stigma..
Ø Most of the children have a fear that nobody will trust her/him..
Ø Sometime they cannot make a difference between a safe or unsafe touch..
Ø They feel uncomfortable or shy in talking about their sufferings..
Ø A fear of getting scold by parents..

The 13 year old girl child I met was molested by her first cousin on three different occasions. She did not reveal anything to even parents.. She had a fear of criticism at home and also was afraid that her "sense of dressing in western clothes" and being friendly with everyone would be criticised..
and the boy who was sexually abused by his school bus conductor.. the day he informed it to his elder brother from the very next day, his parents started sending him in a car rather than take any action. .
And then I met Poonam (name changed), a lawyer by profession whose daughter was abused by a 50-year-old neighbour living next door, recounted her sentiments,. “It was not even in the wildest of my thoughts that a person as elderly as my father, would harm my child.. Luckily, my daughter alerted me and I was able to help her.. But when it came to going to the police, I could not ignore the fact that raising voice about this incident could make harm to my daughter's present and future, and I found silence and prevention are the best remedies in such cases..
In every case offenders did not get the due punishment.. rather they go scot-free.. to target and make harm to another child..
It’s shameful that such type of incidents are taking place and rising high in our conservative society.. It’s terrifying.. Still nobody is ready to talk about it openly..
Yes no doubt that prevention is the best remedy.. So let’s quickly talk about the tips to prevent the sexual abuse of a child..
** Educate your child about the impending danger of child abuse..
** Allow your children to voice their feelings..
** Be frank with your child, listen him/her with an open mind..
** Believe your child that she/he is not cooking up stories about being sexually abused. Believing the child is a major step in healing the hurt caused by abuse.. After getting the facts please remain calm and do not respond with anger, the child may feel that you are angry with her/him..

May god bless every child with a loving, caring and UNDERSTANDING parents..

Trust your children and make them safe..